“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.”   Jeremiah 6:16

I feel like I should write something before I embark on my pilgrimage and maybe even keep it as the first chapter of my journal.

Writing about and focusing on why I go on pilgrimage is far more difficult than I would ever imagine. After all, it is my life, my decision and the dream. None of this makes it any easier, all of this fills me with peace and every day I see another good reason to go! I should be able to give an answer, right?!

I often wonder how/why people learn about the St.James’s Way. To be honest, I never heard about it before and I believe I learned about it exactly when I needed it most and when I was “mature” enough to understand it and learn from it. And I also wonder how many of you learn about it now because you are about to grow for it!

And that’s why I go! Now!

Two very hard and challenging years. The time of spiritual awakening. Blessing and gratitude. Faith.

Someone, long time ago (very very long time ago), planted a seed. People and circumstances in my life watered it and now I begin to feel the warmth of the sun, the freshness of air and understand the meaning of storms. As new as it is for me, I constantly stumble and fall and feel more insecure than ever before which, however, seems to be ok from what I heard. I am on the right path. I feel good, content and happier than ever before. Not because of something or someone. I choose to be happy and in love every morning when I wake up. I work on it and I practice and sometimes I fail. Hard work on some days. I explore! I learn a lot every day and in many different ways.

And the most important lesson I learn every day, again and again, is patience! How important it is! To have patience with myself and with others, patience for the right time and the right result.

Patience is never a waste of time. Patience is not idleness either. In fact, patience is very active discipline and awareness.

For me, the last two years, when I was patiently waiting/working towards who I am today and hopefully who I am going to grow to, prove this lesson.

And how do you know you are on the right path and becoming a person you are supposed to be?

You know it when you are thinking about it – understanding everything from the very beginning is not necessary; there comes the lesson on patience and results when the time is right. And when your decision is right, all things will come together to make your dream come true.

I once heard that we should let the peace be the umpire for us in this. Inner peace is the answer. Restlessness is a powerful force too and a sort of companion of peace. Ideally, restlessness should direct us from what is not right for us, what does not nurture our soul or comforts our heart. I go because I feel peaceful about it.

That’s basically how far I got until I found out about the pilgrimage.

It is more than that but may this be the main lesson for now. Next week, I will take another step. And I will take many more on the 800km/five week long journey just to (re)discover it is not about the destination.

I want to discover my heart of pilgrim. I need to become stronger and braver. I hope I can get healed from the wounds and scares both physical and emotional. I long for connection, purpose and spiritual miracle. …

ps. If you want or need to go on a pilgrimage too but can’t at the moment, I can carry your prayers with me, they will surely be answered along the way. But please don’t hold any negative emotions of any kind towards me for doing the pilgrimage, there is a lot behind the surface which you wouldn’t want to take.

Buen Camino!

Faith is what you have now, hope is the vision you hold on to and gratitude is the bridge between.

It is Friday and as usual the Internet if full of joyous posts on how now we can start living…finally! And before too long, we will complain about Monday… on Sunday. It sounds a bit funny I admit. But we rob ourselves of the joy we could experience every single day.

We love Fridays, we love holidays and all those special days that we have to wait for all year long. We may even  love the time when we are waiting for them and expecting something unique to happen because we have a reason, something to look forward to.

We believe we can be more of who we want to be, who we really are, on those special days. But what about the days in between? What if (and we know there is no “what if”) there are more of those days and less of the ones we are waiting for and expecting?! And as long as I remember, the special days do feel somehow shorter, the time flies and what we awaited for so long, disappears too soon.

A few weeks ago I was given something special, a vision, a hope. However, along with that hope I received a package of plenty of time in between. On the first days, I immersed myself into that feeling of waiting and expecting the Day to come. Yet, everytime I got too much into that vision, I was somehow reminded that now IS the day that fills me with the fire I will need in the future.

How much do you remember from the last year?! How much attention and devotion did you give those “special days” and how much passion did you spare for the rest (most)?!

Do you remember the smell of the first spring days last year and how much are they different this year? Do you remember how the July days made you feel and why? Or any other time that you didn’t label “a special”.

Take your time now and give your thoughts and heart to this day, the moment, its glory. 

Choose to have a happy day and experience its blessings instead of expecting them in future

And yet I know it won’t be easy to do every day. It never is, otherwise we would not have to “choose” it. We would have it. It takes discipline, right perspective and a good heart.

Happiness, just like love, IS unconditional. The source is within you ~ the miracles and dreams of your heart  come to life when you build a bridge of gratitude for them.

Life is not a trip that begins and ends. It is a journey that unfolds and unveils.

 Do we dare to start a truly unexpected journey, a journey we can take only a step at the time, a journey of breaking down the walls we have built over the years to protect our true selves from the world and yes, from ourselves too? I did. I longed for that journey and despite the pain that is inevitable on such a path, I don’t regret a minute of it.

 Discovering yourself is the most transformational, liberating and awakening experience. It is an experience without destination that offers unfolding results along the way. Expect miracles every day! The journey of self-discovery is, after all, like any other journey. You may need a map along with a direction and guidance.

On my own journey I have learned five things  – learnings that might serve as a map for you on your own path or at least as a direction with guidance.

Take Leaps of faith  It is your faith that will keep you on your path and lead you in difficult times. Listen to your inner voice, your intuition, because it uses the language only you can understand. And if it naggingly tells you to change direction, stop and think about it at least. On my own journey I have had to take several leaps of faith — leaps into the unknown — and no matter how hard it was to do that, or how much people around me tried to change my mind, now we all know it was for the best.

Embrace Companions  No journey should be taken alone, not even the one into yourself. Places and things on your path offer opportunities and people who can enrich your perspectives. Accept people on your path, be open to what they offer, learn from who they are. They can be the blessings to guide you or lessons to learn from. And at least once on your path, you will meet your soulmate too — a person who mirrors your greatest hopes and fears. Do not be demanding, needy or full of expectations in such relationships, though.

Be open   Miracles happen every day, so why don’t we feel like we can achieve them? The problem is we have our own image of what a miracle should look like and expectations about when we expect those miracles to happen. Miracles do happen every day. The thing is they are in disguise for us to learn how to appreciate what comes unexpectedly. This is one of the lessons we need to learn on the journey. Do not wait for miracles to happen but look for them consciously every day and do not judge their relevance or meaning for your personal growth. Being open means you accept miracles as gifts. Being open means you see magic in ordinary things. Being open means you give thanks before asking.

Accept everything - part of the journey is going through hardships. No one can avoid them and pretending they don’t come would have damaging consequences on your pilgrimage. They do happen and being aware of it in advance can save us some tears and mistakes. We need to accept this in order to grow and understand the meaning of good times as well. Accept pains and difficulties just as you accept miracles and be thankful for each and every kind of experience.

Manifest Your Love  Actions speak louder than words. When do we feel beloved, appreciated, respected and happy? Are words enough? Is a loving hug or even a thoughtful gift more? And where do we get when it comes to loving ourselves? Do we really manifest our love for ourselves? And is it something that feeds our senses only or rather something that nourishes our souls? Looking for who we really are and what really makes us content and happy in life, despite life conditions, is a manifestation of true love. Love yourself and love others as you love yourself. Loving the true you is what liberates us  while liberating those who come to our lives as well.

Let me mark one more place on your map – a place I keep reminding myself of every day: Patience!

Be patient, not to get what you want but to grow enough to ask for what you really need. Time and patience may change your requests.

Ok, so stop where you are and let the journey become what defines you!

Not being able to move on from where I got stuck, I could see myself right there; right here, on the journey. Just a glimpse but still!

I learn every day; when I wake up to another grey day or the sunny one, when I go to bed insecure or full of joy and sense of achievement. I learn and grow from that all. And on that same journey I am discovering the essence. The more stuck I feel, the more aware of this moment I become.

The essence reveals to be ME! And you of course! I read about it everywhere but don’t really understand. I still wonder what they are all talking about; loving yourself, taking care of the temple you are, the soul awakening…

It is all the essence, the you! And once again, no, it is not your pride and ego that holds on tight to the world around and its appreciation. Because you have your own struggles and your own gifts, you can walk your own path; your journey! You need them both to be accepted to walk the path. Your passport! And yes, getting stuck is a part of that.

The answer is always gratitude, grace and learning how to listen to your soul. The soul we all share after all. I guess I should know that by now but do I? Not that easy, not at all. But it is beautiful and it gives meaning to everything else.

And then your work is good! And your life opens up in front of you like pilgrimage – one step at the time. You are full of expectations of what it has to offer and you take it all as it comes, waiting for more. Half of them turn out to be miracles, half blessings! Not bad at all!

You know it is not about getting somewhere. It is you right where you are.

It is what defines you and where you put your soul and power.

1. When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins

2. When a woman rises up in glory, her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility contagious. – Marianne Williamson

3. It is clear we must embrace struggle. Every living thing conforms to it. Everything in nature grows and struggles in its own way, establishing its own identity, insisting on it at all cost, against all resistance. – Rainer Maria Rilke

4. God dwells within you, as you! – Elizabeth Gilbert

5. In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life. – Mumford&Sons

6. Work in the invisible world at least as hard as you do in the visible. The invisible world is within you, and it is where happiness resides. – Rumi

7. Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. – Wayne Dyer

8. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. – Melody Beattie

9. New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. – Lao Tzu

10. Children learn more from what you are than what you teach. – W.E.B. Dubois

11. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it. – Roald Dahl

12. Gratitude opens the door to…the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude. – Deepak Chopra

13. _____________________________________________ (this is for you).

Ann Voskamp

“You learn something every day if you pay attention.”  

~Ray LeBlond

I have always tried to show my students that they do not need to separate their lives from their learning.  Your life is a manifestation of your learning.

One of the things I do with new elementary classes is that we recall the English words they already know. And yes, they know a lot of them! And the moment I like most of all is when I see their surprised faces as they realize they do know a lot.

Learning happens when our brains are engaged, interested or under the stress! Yet every time it gets a different quality.

I found out that teaching can easily take place after the students learned something. What am I talking about?

Well, think about Facebook, for example. Surely many students managed to use it, right? So why don’t use it for teaching them more about the language it offers. An English lesson from Facebook! And one more great thing about it! They will certainly go back to what you taught them! They will surely use Facebook after the lesson and notice the lagnuage.

I came up with a sample lesson plan for facebook lesson. Hope you find it useful and an inspiration for your own ideas.

Or what about working with your students on such lesson plans for other classes?

In silence, you hear your thoughts and in the act of rituals you silence yourself and the world around. I am sitting here now with the pen I always use to write in this notebook. Not any notebook, just this one. For writing down my observations and thoughts, I use only this one. This is my ritual of daily writing. This is one of my rituals.

It is not a habit, it is a moment when performing the act of writing is more important than anything else, my quiet moment, it is what matters; a connection with timeless eternity. I don’t think about the result too much and in fact I just put down the words, let them flow and fill the paper as they come. I am watching the lines change as they bear the symbols of my mind. I am drinking green tea as always from the same cup when I write.

My ritual.

It is not a habit I plan to do. I want to do it and I try to find a time to do it regularly, like meditation which centers and calms my mind. Ritual is an act that empties you of yourself and others just to make room for mindfulness and you again. Ritual teaches you to focus on the journey rather than on the destination; it offers contentment and awareness.

As long as it serves you, it is not a habit. Once you serve it, the habit and monotonousness prevails.

The great thing about ritual is that all of us have already taken the first step. I often tell people about colours and help them notice the diversity of what we simply perceive as “green” or “blue”.

I think I should tell them about shower first!

Isn’t shower the very first place you can feel safe and confident enough to be aware and open to the process more than to the goal? Notice the water, watch how it flows, listen to it as it cleanses your body, watch your body and the way it connects with the element. Feel it! Have you really touched and smelled your skin after that?

We often do things and expect results not knowing that results do manifest themselves along the way.

I wish you a sensuous new year (day) and moments of unexpected beauty in ordinary things!

What have I learned in 2012? The very first thought that crossed my mind was that I don’t really remember, overwhelmed by amount. I guess there is a reason for that as well. Honestly, my 2012 was (is) one of the most challenging and demanding years I have lived through so far. 2012 – a good year when I was given a lot and learned to drop and let go of even more; a year when I had to leave the things I was holding to just to learn there are far more opportunities when you have your hands empty; a year when I got lost in the darkness just to step back on the path that will surely lead me where my soul resides.

More than ever before, I truly got the meaning of the words autonomous, control and learning.  And what that means when you want to teach it to others. I was never very confident and since I was a teenager I tried to prove to others, there is something about me even though it may not resemble the prototype proposed by society. Read it again, I tried to prove to others that I am good enough. This year, I realized that it is possible to love others even though they do not understand you. Do they need to understand you? Is it really why we look for what defines us? Isn’t it that from those who do not try to pose, you learn most (unnoticed!)? This year was magical and as I have already mentioned it set my foot back on the path where I am hoping to find some answers and even more questions.  I learned and really got into my system that learning, growth and life are the one and so it is the journey that doesn’t stop; a journey that doesn’t necessarily give answers; a journey that does unveil and unfold.  I can’t see where it leads so I learn most of all, and at all times, to have faith and let go of many of my expectations and beliefs. It doesn’t change anything on the fact that the path is still dark and often lonely but in my heart I can sense and feel the warmth and light coming through the tree tops. And that heart is what matters most of all, in me and in you; the heart that melts the ice in the middle of the winter or keeps you on the track when there are too many attractions along the way. Your true heart is your journey. If you think about it as an organ, well then let’s call it a soul that forms your path or a true you, your identity that is not defined by the borders of your body and rules and restrictions of your mind. And that heart which leads you, to which you need to surrender and let go, that heart is the same in every one of us. And once you start noticing yours, you will see it in others and appreciate their own journey through the darkness into the light. And that’s why I think we associate heart with love – timeless, endless and without expectations. This love, however, has little to do with our bodily love, the love we feel for others and their bodies, romantic love or admiration, the love which has too many forms and levels, the love that changes easily. The love of your heart starts when you get on the path and see yourself as you are, as it is meant to be. You are the right person! It is not about ego, proving something to someone, confidence or wanting to be better. Aim to be who you are and rejoice upon it. I remind you though, I do not have any answers, I do not walk in the light yet. Under too many amazing, stressing and challenging circumstances this year, I made my step on the path and I started to learn about the life.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. Albert Camus

Those are unusual places your mind can take you to when you unplug it from conventions and rules. Those are unforgettable moments you can experience when meeting people who tell you those places do exist. Those moments can even change your ways! Once setting off on such journey, once your curiosity prevails, once you let go, miracles can happen.

Bring an autumn leaf to your class, bring one for every single student, and give it as a flower, as a special gift and they will approach it in that way. That’s what Mark Andrews showed us today during his workshop in Kosice while unplugging Slovakia one city at a time. He took us some places, let our minds wander and made the familiar unexpected and strange. I confess my mind is still somewhere else and not very willing to come back and do the writing but I know it is either now or never that I can share my day  with others (I ask for forgiveness for the moments when I may be dragging it from somewhere else again).

There was a lot of talking, thinking and discussing today but one thing for all is taking me back to my plans for shopping next week. Actually, not really shopping but rather leafing through the catalogues and shop displays for the language and stories there.

What about giving students a project like that? Isn’t that the place they really enjoy going anyway, with or without homework? Surely they know a lot more about shops and brands than we do sometimes. What if we took it a bit further and asked them to do a little research on the story behind the brand name and image? Mark did that with H&M and I am convinced there was not a single person in the room today who wouldn’t “wow” at some point. Not exactly because of the language we learned (or could learn as learners) but because it was something real, authentic and we all thought familiar to us. I got that moment during watching a TV commercial for H&M – I will not reveal everything but I can give you a hint – a haiku to connect the dots

Blue velvet and pink

Don’t make that little man glad

Would they, was it Lynch?

Well done, what an idea for a mere commercial to put all those Lynch movies ideas in one commercial and I still wonder why! Curiosity does open up that door. The door we, teachers, show our students. In case of good teacher training, we can be taken to such doors as well.

To sum it up for this post (though I and Mark are about to do more on H&M stuff soon!), maybe tomorrow as you walk to your school, keep your eyes open and sometimes choose just random objects of interest and bring them with you to your class. See what your students can do with that, scaffold their discoveries at the beginning and ask them to bring stuff they know about or simply come across and find interesting. Create that safe environment where all ideas, opinions and every effort is appreciated and can lead to amazing and big things. I didn’t have anything with me today before I went teaching my afternoon class. I had one idea, risky and I wasn’t really sure where it could lead. I took my elementary+ students to join Mark’s afternoon workshop for teachers. I had doubts “Will they manage to concentrate for 90 minutes?” Will they find it interesting at all” “Will they learn anything?” With a little task and a space I and Mark gave them, they did! We all did!

‘And can I keep that leaf?’ She asked leaving the room.

‘Of course you can!’ I replied, smiling and looking at her putting it gently between the pages of her notebook; a girl who didn’t raise her hand when we were voting whether to join Mark’s session or not.

ps. I left a workshop with an ear worm  and found myself dancing to a newly discovered Lana Del Rey’s song Summertime Sadness later tonight. You can never tell where curiosity and the door someone opened for you can take you.

Have you ever noticed those subtle lines, politely and comfortably arranged borderlines , forest paths.

I admit, I looked at them as routes to get us safely in and out of the world that in its complexity and beauty can sometimes scare even the strongest beings on the planet; the people who deliberately separated themselves from that complex, confusing and beautiful universe.

Today I walked down one of such paths. The sun was shining bright as it was an early afternoon and the lush green leaves let some rays touch the ground. Just enough light to support life and more than enough heat to hide it.  Some rays, probably more curious ones or even adventurous, made it to touch my face; an intruder, a former sister, a bride to be. They knew before I did, I am going to walk that line and sooner or later discover the pleasure and joy of such brotherhood. What we miss, what we never really left, just turned around yet still feeling the scent of it. Noone can really leave those paths and no walls can keep you safe enough or resistent to that heart filling bliss and peace of mind. Your universe of belonging.