What have I learned in 2012? The very first thought that crossed my mind was that I don’t really remember, overwhelmed by amount. I guess there is a reason for that as well. Honestly, my 2012 was (is) one of the most challenging and demanding years I have lived through so far. 2012 – a good year when I was given a lot and learned to drop and let go of even more; a year when I had to leave the things I was holding to just to learn there are far more opportunities when you have your hands empty; a year when I got lost in the darkness just to step back on the path that will surely lead me where my soul resides.
More than ever before, I truly got the meaning of the words autonomous, control and learning. And what that means when you want to teach it to others. I was never very confident and since I was a teenager I tried to prove to others, there is something about me even though it may not resemble the prototype proposed by society. Read it again, I tried to prove to others that I am good enough. This year, I realized that it is possible to love others even though they do not understand you. Do they need to understand you? Is it really why we look for what defines us? Isn’t it that from those who do not try to pose, you learn most (unnoticed!)? This year was magical and as I have already mentioned it set my foot back on the path where I am hoping to find some answers and even more questions. I learned and really got into my system that learning, growth and life are the one and so it is the journey that doesn’t stop; a journey that doesn’t necessarily give answers; a journey that does unveil and unfold. I can’t see where it leads so I learn most of all, and at all times, to have faith and let go of many of my expectations and beliefs. It doesn’t change anything on the fact that the path is still dark and often lonely but in my heart I can sense and feel the warmth and light coming through the tree tops. And that heart is what matters most of all, in me and in you; the heart that melts the ice in the middle of the winter or keeps you on the track when there are too many attractions along the way. Your true heart is your journey. If you think about it as an organ, well then let’s call it a soul that forms your path or a true you, your identity that is not defined by the borders of your body and rules and restrictions of your mind. And that heart which leads you, to which you need to surrender and let go, that heart is the same in every one of us. And once you start noticing yours, you will see it in others and appreciate their own journey through the darkness into the light. And that’s why I think we associate heart with love – timeless, endless and without expectations. This love, however, has little to do with our bodily love, the love we feel for others and their bodies, romantic love or admiration, the love which has too many forms and levels, the love that changes easily. The love of your heart starts when you get on the path and see yourself as you are, as it is meant to be. You are the right person! It is not about ego, proving something to someone, confidence or wanting to be better. Aim to be who you are and rejoice upon it. I remind you though, I do not have any answers, I do not walk in the light yet. Under too many amazing, stressing and challenging circumstances this year, I made my step on the path and I started to learn
about the life.